Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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