her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
