there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
