You're so nebulous sometimes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
