Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
