i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
