I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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