Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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