i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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