Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
