**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
tell me about the eggs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
