this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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