I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize