Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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