Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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