If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
