I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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