glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
