I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
