I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
