I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
