I smell stomach acid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
