Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
