I think I died a long time ago.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
