I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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