I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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