"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
