oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
