I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
