this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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