you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
