You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
