The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
