Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
