Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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