I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
