Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
