Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
