I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
