it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
