? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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