I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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