Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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