i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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