Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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