Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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