Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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