My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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