I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
