Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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