Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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