i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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