I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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