Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
