"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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