You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just shotgunned beers for America
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
