ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We got so high we made milksteak
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
